Hospice Offers Compassionate Care

When Diane Haderly’s cancer returned, she chose not to undergo treatment to extend her life, but instead wanted to spend her last few months traveling and enjoying life with her husband, John.

With support from MedStar St. Mary’s Hospital and other medical facilities when needed, Hospice of St. Mary’s provides compassionate care for patients and families. Diane Haderly was one of those patients.

After having a tumor removed from her pancreas and completing six months of chemotherapy, Diane Haderly felt great. She had beaten breast cancer 17 years earlier, so things seemed to be going well. However, this time she was not as fortunate.

A follow-up appointment showed the cancer had spread in her body. Mrs. Haderly discussed her options with John, her husband of 38 years. She could go through an even more intense treatment plan, or she could do nothing. The treatment may extend her life by a few months, but Mrs. Haderly decided it wasn’t worth it.

“It came down to quality of life,” said Mr. Haderly, as he remembered the toll the six months of chemo took on his wife. “She always said if she ever got really sick, she wanted to die at Hospice House.” So the couple went to Hospice House, got information about hospice services and decided on options for care. Because she was terminal, Mrs. Haderly was eligible for hospice care immediately, even though she felt great. In fact, as the care began, Mr. Haderly said his wife would answer the door and the hospice nurse would ask to see the patient while Mrs. Haderly answered, “I am the patient.”

The couple sailed and traveled in their motorhome during their time together. They went to visit their blended family of five children and eight grandchildren, all the while talking about Mrs. Haderly’s decision and what she wanted, as they gathered to celebrate family occasions. Because of their hospice connection, Mr. Haderly, a retired Navy officer who had no medical training, always felt confident that they could get help if they encountered an emergency while traveling. “Whenever we left home,” said Mr. Haderly, “I let hospice know our routes and our destinations. They set up services for us in those areas, although we never had to use them.”

Kathy Franzen, BSN, RN, is the interim director of Hospice and Palliative Care. Ms. Franzen said many patients and their families never discuss end-of-life options. Instead, discussions and decision are based on crises, and end up being made under duress in the intensive care center or the emergency department. “This places a huge burden on others.” Ms. Franzen and her staff ask patients and families “What’s important to you?” to help with decisions about care.

“This question can help with one of the most important conversations of our life,” said Ms. Franzen.

If someone is not sure how to start end-of-life conversations, she highly recommends The Conversation Project website at TheConversationProject.org for several helpful resources. “All of hospice care is palliative care, but all of palliative care is not hospice care at all,” Ms. Franzen said. Palliative care should begin upon diagnosis of any serious or chronic illness. To be eligible for hospice, a terminally ill patient with about six months to live must have a physician referral.

Just as she wished, Diane Haderly was at Hospice House for her last days. All of her family, even the family dog, were able to come and say goodbye. Mr. Haderly was so impressed with his wife’s care that when his 95-year-old mother-in-law was in a nursing home dying of lung cancer, he arranged for her to go to Hospice House.

Again, he was grateful for the skill and compassion shown by the organization and staff. To express his thanks, Mr. Haderly helps care for the baby grand piano in the Hospice House living room, ensuring that it stays well-tuned for all to enjoy. Mrs. Haderly loved music and her husband, a musician, was the Navy Band’s tour director for most of his military career. “Hospice staff treated my wife, myself and our entire family with dignity,” he said. “They honored Diane’s wishes, provided comfort and support, and made the transition tolerable for our entire family. I’m also proud of our community for building the Hospice House. It’s a gift.”

Find more information about Hospice of St. Mary’s on the organization’s website.

For more information and one-click access to a full list of resources available at MedStar St. Mary’s Hospital, visit their Leader Page.