March 29, 2024

Videos Against Violence

By Jay Friess
Editor

Photo by publik15

One of the toughest problems victims of domestic violence face is forming a plan to safely leave an abusive situation without losing their economic positions, homes, children or even lives. Domestic violence councilors say it can take a victim six to eight attempts to leave.

Walden Behavioral Health, a St. Mary’s County-based, non-profit treatment group, is aiming to reach out to victims, mostly women, who are trying to leave abusive domestic situations by producing a series of instructive videos. Walden hosted the St. Mary’s County Family Violence Coordinating Council at its Hope Place location in Lexington Park Wednesday evening to preview some of the raw footage from a project.

“Our hope is that they will be on the Internet,” said Laura Webb, Walden’s community engagement manager.

Walden also plans to put the videos on St. Mary’s County’s local access cable channel as well as ask local doctors’ offices, hair salons and automotive shops to run the clips in their waiting rooms. The clips previewed Wednesday at Hope Place showed interviews with local victims and counselors, explaining the domestic violence cycle and strategies for ending it.

Kathy O'Brien, Walden's executive director, introduces the rough cut of a new domestic violence video series at Hope Place in Lexington Park Wednesday night. (Photo by Jay Friess)

“We thought we’d bring everyone to where a lot of the action happens,” said Kathy O’Brien, Walden’s executive director, explaining that Hope Place is often the first stop for victims trying to leave abusive partners.

The presentation, entitled “Why Doesn’t She Just Leave?,” aims to explain the difficulties victims face establishing a separate life, keeping the abuser away and protecting their children and themselves from retribution.

“More stay, often times, than leave,” O’Brien said.

O’Brien started the presentation by explaining that domestic violence is a pervasive problem. She estimated that one in ten women are abused by their partners and that the problem accounts for 1.8 million serious injuries nationwide each year, more than rape, mugging and automobile accidents combined. Domestic violence can escalate into homicide and tragic confrontations with law enforcement, as evidenced by a recent local shooting incident.

“The good thing is that there haven’t been many deaths in St. Mary’s County,” said Ella May Russell, director of St. Mary’s County Social Services, who explained that local social services groups instead keep records on the numbers of serious injuries resulting from domestic violence.

O’Brien also sought to dispel myths about domestic violence, noting that women’s self esteem is not a clear causative factor, and neither are substance abuse or bad relationships.

“Violence is a learned behavior,” O’Brien said, adding that it has more to do with the abuser’s desire for power and control than external factors. In 70 percent of cases, she added, abusers target their children as well as their partners.

Domestic violence often follows a familiar pattern, O’Brien said, starting with a buildup of tension that culminates in a violent incident. O’Brien compared the situation to the over-winding of a watch, saying, “It keeps winding and winding and then it snaps.”

Victims often contact police and social services representatives after the incident, but, once the tension is released, O’Brien says couples most often return to a “honeymoon phase” of apologies and reconciliation, and the victim declines to leave the situation. Victims acting in a state of denial is not unusual, O’Brien said, noting that they want the violence to stop, but do not want the relationships to end.

When a victim has finally had enough of the cycle, he or she often needs help to leave safely. Councilors in the videos will discuss such details, explaining how to hide keys, copy important documents, change up routines to avoid stalking, establishing an escape route from the home, filing for a protective order and creating a safe word to use with family members and friends on the phone.

The video does not yet have a release date, but O’Brien said it could help social services and police deal more effectively with domestic violence.

“This is a life-saving endeavor we’re undertaking,” O’Brien said.

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